Cat:
Trump's inAuguration is shaping up to be a real ragin' kegger.
Dog:
He can't even get Springsteen-a-like B Street Band to play. Maybe he can call the ZEE Street Band?
Poster:
ATTENDING
Mormon Tabernacle Choir
Three Rockettes
America's Got Talent 2010 runner-up
Cat:
Obama raised forty-four million bucks for ten kick-ass inaugural balls in 2009. Trump's got ninety million for two crappy balls.
Dog:
Meanwhile the few acts showing up for Trump are putting up GoFundMe pages because they're not being paid.
Poster:
NOT ATTENDING
Jennifer Holliday
Elton John
Celine Dion
KISS
E Street Band
B Street Band
A-Y Street Band
George Michael
Anyone Else of
Consequence
Cat:
Inaugural parades usually go for four hours but Trump's planning on sprinting through his in ninety minutes.
Dog:
We've come so far from the campaign which began with descending the escalator in Trump Tower.
Poster:
SPECIAL GUESTS
Vlad Putin
Vlad Tepes
Larry Talbot
Henry Frankenstein
NO ADMITTANCE
Ivana, Marla, Megyn Kelly, John Lewis, Vicente Fox, Pope Francis, Alec Baldwin, Meryl....