Trump simply cannot pass up a chance to be a dick: He's not bringing back Charlie Brotman to announce the inaugural parade.
Charlie's only worked every inauguration since 1957. But fuck him, we've got a
Trump supporter who needs the work.
"America: Greatness! Fun Party"
"Make America Great Again! Welcome Celebration"
If only one halfway decent musician owed Trump a favor this party wouldn't suck golf balls through a garden hose.
There's no party like a Grand Old Party! Except every other party ever.
"Food! Fun! A Monkey! And America!"
*Not applicable to Negroes, Mexicans, Muslims, Women, the Gays, the Jews, or Other Groups at Our Discretion"
Maybe Toby Keith will play "Red Solo Cup" for half an hour straight and we'll all die of a spontaneous spinal aneurysm.
At least Trump will always have those fucking Spencer's T-shirts.